Do not shield yourself from things?

i was pondering wot shall i blog today. but rite after i read richard's email.
thoughts just keep throwing out.

richard and i keep emailing since da day i got back. i can say He's really one of da person who is extremely faithful in replying email. haha. rite richard?

newaiz, wen i read through his email . das some words captured me " Careful that you do not shield yourself from things. God wants to take us through and
show his love to others through you and through the brokeness of your humanity."

it reli led to reflections on da circumstances i'm in.
did i hide myself? m i letting god to show HIS love to others through me?
it reminds me some gossip bout me lately.aunti was sharing wif mum. Apparently, cousin and uncle hv a mindset "is joey dispassionate?"
i hv no idea why would dey hv dis mentality. to be honest, i was a bit disappointed wen i heard it from mum. most importantly, God sees mah heart. i couldnt fake out da peace, da joy wif da whole situation.

i've gotta admit dat i'm full of grumbles at tyms.
- Can't he eat da meals which provided by hospital canteen?
- can;t he mke up his mind of wot sort of food dat he wants instead of asking me to mke few rounds or juz look for a kind of bread dat he lyk for an entire hour?
- can't he eat later and gif me sometym to buy all dose he need
- cant he stop wasting my energy and tym and money to buy dose food wen he only had a bite and throw it away.
- can't he stop chasing me out while i just reached his room?
- can't he let me rest a bit more and not to burnt out physically?
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it could totally refer to wot Richard's mentioned. god wants to take us through and
show his love to others through you and through the brokeness of your humanity.

did i show him da love? or is it enough? most of all, is it a way dat jesus would react? m i breaking da heart of GOd and everybody? eventhough i didnt yell out all mah grievances. but aren't you too selfish to tink for your own good joey?

whenever i start muttering, i just flip through da bible and keep mumbling(praying).
God is de only one could soothe me out.

literally it's such a privilege to serve my earthly dad. His existence seems to be more and more precious since we wouldnt noe wot's gonna happen tmr.
why shall i complain? Lord, please renew my mind each and everyday.i ask for your strength and love. may i be more lyk you as im willing to tke up da cross lyk wot Jesus did.
fahter, please forgive me from being self-centred. lord, may you correct my attitude and thinking. lord, i need you to be my shepherd every second. as u noe i m such a fickle person. lord, please show your love to my parents through mah weakness.
i m so sorry lord, sorry for being naive and immature. Lord, i ask for your patience upon me god, please mold me and shape me to be more lyk christ.